Stop Pushing Men Away With Your Fearful, Mistrustful Behavior

Do men seem to avoid or reject you?

God Please Fix Me!

You’ve been hurt by your boyfriend or husband and you swear you’ll never let another man get his hook into your heart.

Is this you?

You’re afraid of loving a man deeply.
You’re afraid of physical and emotional intimacy.
You’re afraid to be vulnerable.
You’re afraid to be authentic. 
You’re afraid to trust a man because he might hurt you like your ex did.

You drag your emotional baggage thorough life.

You grew up with a low sense of self-worth. Your father was emotionally unavailable, hyper-critical or abusive, setting the stage for your future relationships with men. You gravitate to men who are non-communicating, unfaithful, deceptive and abusive.

Your boyfriend cheated on you, lied to you and psychologically and/or physically battered you. You’re resentful, angry and bitter and you lump all men into a cauldron of liars, cheaters and assholes.

Your husband had an affair or he divorced you to be with a younger woman, compounding your already fractured self-esteem. You feel betrayed, unloved and undesirable and cheated out of your best years. You’re afraid no man will want to date you because you focus on your wrinkles, thinning hair and weight gain of a middle-aged woman.

You want a wonderful man in your life but your aloof and unapproachable presence pushes men away. 

When a man does show an interest in you, you hold him at a safe arm’s distance. You feel threaten and undeserving of his respect and attention and so you act out with fearful, insecure and irrational behavior.

You throw up a stony façade to protect your fragile emotions and you reject him before he can reject you. Potential suitors back away from you. Men who become involved with you drift away because it takes too much work to tear down your self-protecting walls.

With each failed relationship you became more and more mistrusting and cautious of men.

You wear a boulder-size chip on your shoulder. You say things like: I’m not going to put up with a man’s crap. I don’t trust men. I like my life—I don’t have to have a man. You portray yourself as capable, intelligent and self-sufficient. Men see you as rigid, self-absorbed and they feel there is no place for him in your life—or they feel threatened and intimidated by your ultra-independence.

Heaven forbid a man would think that you need or want a man in your life.

Sadly, a potential suitor will never know that you are innately compassionate, supportive and loving because you hide your endearing traits behind an impenetrable wall of fear and mistrust. 

Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Suspicious. Guarded. Alone.

Trust is a decision to put faith in someone to be trustworthy.

There are NO guarantees that you’ll never be hurt again. In fact, the people you love the most will most likely (but often unintentionally) be the ones who will hurt you.

The trick is to learn from your past mistakes.

Ask yourself these questions:

What were the warning signs that your guy was inherently deceitful, unstable and abusive?
Was he unreliable, deceptive and blaming when you were dating him?

Yes?

Why then did you become intimately involved with him?
What would you do differently to avoid the heartbreak of an untrustworthy partner?

Takeaway:

Trust your gut about a man’s (or anyone’s) unreliable and questionable behavior. Maintain boundaries with people who exhibit questionable and inconsiderate behavior and invest your trust in someone you believe is genuine and trustworthy. 

Read: How To Let Go Of Low Self-Esteem And Find Love



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