Stop getting in your own way.
You watch others get the things they want in life. They have great jobs, solid friendships, enjoyable lifestyles, beautiful homes and a loving boyfriend or husband—and you can’t help but wonder—Why don't you have those nice things in my life?
The Law of Attraction states that we create our own realities by virtue of our thoughts and actions. We attract the things we want. We also attract the things we don’t want.
Our positive mindset magically attract opportunities, financial gain, success, our favorite possessions and meaningful relationships (and if you don't believe me—try thinking positive thoughts for 30 days).
Conversely, our negative, critical, narrow-minded thoughts deflect good karma and magnetically draw to us problematic people, troublesome situations, financial difficulties, hurtful relationships, and even poor health (think: a speeding ticket, a new jerkoid boss, unexpected insufficient bank funds or the smell of strange perfume on your man's shirt).
You don't think you're hyper-criticizing your sweetheart, ridiculing a girlfriend or monopolizing every conversation with your slated opinions; in fact, in your mind you're a caring partner, a good friend and an all-around open-minded person.
Not!
You don’t know WHY you attract men who are non-communicating and emotionally withholding, mistrusting and jealous, needy for attention or verbally abusive. Nevertheless, if the men in your life repeatedly cause you heartbreak and regret, you may want to evaluate your OWN level of emotion health.
Here are 10 examples of how you can turn ‘stinking thinking’ into powerful thoughts that will help you get what you want in life:
- Closed Mindset: You categorize everything in black and white, no shades of gray. You have a kneejerk reaction to the comments, opinions and ideas of others. They’re wrong. You’re right. Instead of listening to the person talking, your mind rushes to respond with your adamant point of view.
Positive Solution: Ask questions and listen attentively to the opinions and ideas of others—they may know something that you don’t. Consider that there can be two rights, and no one is wrong.
- Self-doubt and Procrastination: I don’t think I can do this, you think. You have great ideas, but you fear deep down that you are incapable of success, so you drag your feet, lose your enthusiasm and you fail by default.
Positive Solution: Commit your ideas and goals to paper, set a start date and a timeline for completion—and then just do it! Forget about being successful. Your goal is to execute small and large action steps. Your incremental accomplishments will motivate you, pushing you closer to a positive outcome.
- Comparing Yourself to Others: We’ll never be as pretty, as talented, as rich, or as successful as everyone else. We can always find someone we think is better, if we look hard enough.
Positive Solution: Stop comparing yourself to others and concentrate on your strengths, talents and accomplishments, small and large. Love and appreciate who you are, right now, not who you want to become.
- Guilt-Induced Performance: You beat yourself up for your shortcomings. We all fail from time to time. We under-plan, we over-estimate, and we miss the mark. We overeat and we overspend. We over-react and we respond poorly. Beating ourselves up for our minor infractions is counter-productive and creates a negative self-image.
Positive Solution: Acknowledge your error. Put it in perspective and move on. “I spoke rashly to my friend.” Apologize and let it go. “I overate and I didn’t exercise.” Skip dessert, exercise tomorrow and get your enthusiasm on track. Keep a journal of your successes in your personal and business life in the last week, month, year, or five years.
- Self-Deprecating Dialog: Your inner voice belittles and devalues your worth. You reject compliments and you underplay your accomplishments. You put yourself down in front of others. You say, “I’m so clumsy. I look fat. I’m not smart enough. I always forget things. If anyone can screw up, I will.”
Positive Solution: Immediately reject negative self-talk. Focus on the things you like about yourself. Acknowledge your accomplishments. Accept your imperfections; we all have them. Don’t broadcast your shortcomings. Say “thank you” for compliments.
- Rationalizing With Your Emotions: “I feel, therefore it must be true.” You react to life and people based on your unhealthy, illogical and irrational emotions.
Positive Solution: Base your perception on facts and evidence. It will illuminate reality.
- Scarcity Thinking: This mindset makes you overly competitive and greedy. Your sub-conscious tells you there is not enough to go around. You need to get this or that before the other guy does. You can’t share your knowledge or connections because someone may take advantage of you. Scarcity thinking shuts down your resourcefulness and the generosity of others.
Positive Solution: Learn to see success as something that can be shared. If I am generous and I help and support your efforts, you will, in turn, feel benevolent about promoting me. We each increase our chances to be successful.
- Pessimistic Point of View: You see everyone and everything in a negative light. You look for the worst in others. You capitalize on their shortcomings. You complain about every situation. You openly express your negativity to everyone around you.
Positive Solution: Negative chatter is an acquired bad habit that can be broken. Look for the positive aspects in every person and every situation in your life, and express those thoughts. You may be surprised that you like what you find.
- Generalizing: You allow a single hurtful event to define your daily existence, even the outcome of your life. You let one negative remark ruin your whole day. You see one mistake as a deficit against your overall good performance. You view one failure as defeat.
Positive Solution: One negative event, person or comment does not define your life. One error does not make you worthy or unworthy. See a single unpleasant incident as a bump in the road.
- Assuming the Worst: You jump to conclusions about others and situations. You imagine someone doesn’t like you, you immediately go on the defense when someone insults or maltreats you and you feel the need to confront them and expose their insensitive behavior and the result is additional negative feelings. You over-react to a minor comment or someone’s offish behavior, e.g., your husband or boyfriend is in a bad mood; you automatically think you did something wrong.
Positive Solution: Assume things are going well (that people like you and all is right in your world) until you learn differently. Let the insults and negative actions of others roll off you—don’t let their problem become your problem. Realize life is not always about you. Lower your expectations of others, realizing no one is perfect. Take time to cool-off; you may decide it really was no big deal. Whatever the outcome—don’t burn your bridges.
Don't let your negative attitudes and behavior stand between you and the things you want most in life. Read the true stories that will open your eyes your self-defeating mindset in the newly released book God, Please Fix Me!
God, Please Fix Me!
A Breakthrough in Self-Esteem, Relationship Understanding and Personal Healing for Women by Nancy Nichols
Purchase the book here! FREE SHIPPING for a limited time! Same day shipping.
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