How To Let Go Of Low Self-Esteem And Find Love

What keeps you from feeling totally worthy of love?

The voice in your head is not who you are. —Eckard Tolle

Most of our internal programming is the result of how we were raised. As children our parents molded us to the image of their personalities, beliefs, values, fears and prejudices. Our teachers and authority figures strived to affect our opinions and character. Our classmates and friends influenced our decisions and behavior. Later in life, a boyfriend or a husband contributed to our defective, deprecating mindset.

If the people and influences of our past were disapproving, disparaging and demeaning, we may feel flawed and undeserving of respect, love, happiness and success.  

I clung to the memory of my punitive father and hyper-critical mother. I remember the rejection from my high school classmates and the reproachful remarks of a school teacher. I obsessed over a boyfriend’s or husband’s cruel words and emotional abuse. These toxic images manifested into repetitive thought patterns that destroyed my self-esteem, distorted my reality, affected my behavior and impaired my ability to maintain healthy relationships.

My critical inner voice told me I was not smart or pretty enough. It told me I was different and I didn’t fit in with others. It told me I didn’t measure up in the workplace. It told me I was unworthy of friendships, happiness and success. It told me I couldn’t take care of myself and I needed a man to feel complete. It told me I didn’t deserve the love and respect of a quality man.

In other words, my negative, disparaging thoughts created my sad reality.

After years of counseling, reading self-help and spiritual books, much self-reflection and writing my first self-improvement book, I realized that my life WAS intended to have special meaning. So, if this is true about me—then YOU must exist for a special reason, too!

I finally realized that I DO deserve the respect and love of a good man, true happiness and success. So, if this is true about me—then this MUST be true about you, too!

Listen up, ladies!

  • You are not the hyper-criticisms of your mom or your father.
  • You are not the insecure teenager who was rejected by your classmates, who didn’t make the cheerleader squad or basketball team, or got blackballed from a sorority.
  • You are not the shame-based woman who slept with a string of men searching for a man’s love and acceptance.
  • You are not the little girl whose father abandoned or abused her, causing you to crave a father’s love and validation.
  • You are not the little girl who was repeatedly molested by your father, uncle, or male family member.
  • You are not the unkind words of your self-absorbed girlfriend, co-worker or boss.
  • You are not the woman who drinks or does drugs to numb the pain of your past.
  • You are not the demeaning put-downs of your abusive boyfriend or husband.
  • You ARE NOT a punching bag!

You were created for a special purpose. Your life is intended to have special meaning. You deserve a man who will love, respect and honor you.

Any questions?

Read Also 6 Ways to Cease Negative Self-Talk And Banish Your Inner Critic


Don't let your negative attitudes and behavior stand between you and the things you want most in life. Read the true stories that will open your eyes your self-defeating mindset in the newly released book God, Please Fix Me!

God, Please Fix Me!
A Breakthrough in Self-Esteem, Relationship Understanding and Personal Healing for Women by Nancy Nichols

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