He may not look like your “type” and you may not feel instant chemistry—but he’s the man you SHOULD marry.
You’re tired of wasting your time on the wrong man but you’re drawn to men who are uber-confident, aloof, provocative and intriguing—the bad boys. Your penchant for men is based on good-looks, feelings and impulse. You crave the guy who makes you feel uncertain, insecure and lovesick and you snub the guys who are marriage material. But the bad boy cheats on you, abuses you or he dumps you and months later (even years) you pine for the man who broke your heart.
Girlfriend, there’s something wrong with your “husband picker.”
Some women are intentional about recognizing the wrong man, getting out, and moving on, says eHarmony.
Not you! You’re afraid to be alone and so you ignore the warning signs of anti-social personalities, you commit to a dysfunctional man and then you try to fix him. You refuse to date men who don’t measure up to your high expectations and so you date men who are boasting, arrogant and unattainable. Or you don’t know how to end an abusive relationship because you’re co-dependent and you’re addicted to the intense sex he gives you.
Ladies, if you ever hope to achieve a meaningful, long-term relationship—you need to change your dating model.
Dating a quality man is a conscious choice—and it requires willpower. If you want to find a man who is capable of a meaningful relationship, you must break your cycle of dating the wrong men.
- You MUST consciously and willfully STOP dating emotionally unavailable men, bad boys and jerks.
- You MUST know the traits and qualities that are TRULY important to you in man and hold out for a man who has those qualities.
- You MUST ignore your initial fluttering, tingling sensations with the cool guy and you MUST give a nice guy a chance to show you his intelligence, his reliability, his fun side and his respect and adoration for you.
- You MUST avoid the emotional highs and lows of a love-addict and seek a relationship that encourages personal growth, trust and stability.
- You MUST pay attention the warning signs of a dysfunctional man and immediately STOP dating him.
- You must STOP looking for validation and happiness in a man and you MUST realize your self-worth as a woman.
- You MUST reject a man’s disingenuous flattery and seduction and be “turned on” by a man’s kindness, dependability and unconditional love.
You MUST stop dating to fall in love, and start dating to find the right man to fall in love with.
Here’s what to look for in the right man:
- He doesn’t make you wonder and worry. He calls when he says he will and he texts you frequently. He does what he says he will do.
- He doesn’t make you feel suspicious or mistrustful. He talks openly about his past, present and future.
- He makes you feel special. It’s more than words—you can see his adoration for you in his eyes and you feel it in his touch.
- He plans activities that he knows you will enjoy. He takes you to your favorite restaurant and he buys tickets to the Broadway show you want to see.
- He’s flexible; if you have a change in plans, no problem … he rearranges his life to be with you.
- He doesn’t make jealous. He doesn’t flirt or talk about other women.
- He wants to be seen with you. He takes you around his friends and family.
- He’s considerate and respectful to everyone: his friends, family and strangers. He doesn’t disparage people behind their backs.
- He’s nice to your friends, he enjoys being around your friends and he doesn’t mind sharing you with them.
- He’s easy to talk to. He listens and he communicates and he doesn’t hyper-criticize you.
- He expresses his respect and affection for you. He opens doors for you. He holds your hand while walking down the street. He brings you flowers. He cooks for you. He gives you well thought-out gifts.
- He adds to the quality of your life. He supports you in the things that are important to you.
- He shares a common interest with you. He’s willing to try new things—at least once.
- He’s independent but he clearly wants you to be in his life.
- He takes responsibility for his inconsiderate behavior. He apologizes easily and he doesn’t try to shift blame onto you.
- He doesn’t boast or overstate the truth. In fact, you’re surprised and impressed by his accomplishments.
- He doesn’t press you for sex because he sees you in his life forever.
- He’s open about wanting to see you again. Before your date ends with him, he asks you out for your next date.
- He feels normal (even boring): he’s predictable, dependable, trustworthy, thoughtful and even-tempered.
- He makes you feel like he wants to take care of you.
It's that simple!
Are you ready to fall in love with a man who will love, respect and adore you? I know what it feels like to be with a man who is emotionally withholding and abusive. I can help you break your habit of dating bad boys and deadbeats. Email nancy@Knowitallnancy.com for a complimentary 30-minute Life Coach Consultation.
And read God, Please Fix Me! Trilogy: A Breakthrough in Self-Esteem, Relationship Understanding and Personal Healing for Women by Nancy Nichols
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