You're really getting in your own way!
Dating is a numbers game. We all know that. As little girls, our mothers constantly told us: "You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming."
So, if we know this, why do we get so upset when one of those frogs doesn't call us for a second date?
What's the big deal? Is it because we feel rejected? Our egos reacting to not being chosen and adored by everyone we meet? Or is it something deeper, like believing this date not working out is a symbol of our failure at love in general? That somehow we're entirely undesirable and unlovable and doomed to die an old maid, alone with her cats.
Seriously, it's this kind of thinking that's keeping you stuck!
Entertaining the notion that dating is actually some magical shockwave you send out. "I'm ready for love!" you declare to the Universe, and poof! ... your dream man appears. Sorry. It doesn't work that way. And you expecting it to work that way is part of the problem.
Dating is a process which takes time and effort and your path to finding real love is unique to you. You'll only know how many frogs it takes to find your beloved after that special person enters your life. But the trajectory you're on can change in the blink of an eye if you shift one thing — your attitude.
How you behave on a date matters because you may be sabotaging your second date chances … without even realizing it.
Did you know (according to Match.com), it takes men only 15 minutes to decide if you're worth a second date?
There are15 awkward, socially critical minutes to do or say something amazing that will perk his continued interest in you—or cause him to flip the “off” switch.
What if you're having a bad day? Or your hair is a wreck? Or you ramble on about something silly when you first meet because you're nervous? It happens. And that's why you can't base how loveable you are on being "rejected" by a man you hardly know.
But, you can learn from that experience.
There are several things you can do to bring your best, most attractive self to a first date.
Read: Ladies, The DO'S and DON'TS That Get You A Second Date
And there's also a big list of things you should avoid doing.
Read: 10 Honest (And Harsh) Reasons He Doesn’t Ask You On A Second Date
Maybe it's you? Maybe it's him? But either way, how you behave when you're with someone new determines the success of the date. What you tell yourself when a date doesn't work out also matters.
If you usually tell yourself that you're a loser because Mr. Frog didn't pick you, that has to change! You'll never find a quality relationship holding on to that mindset. (We've all been rejected once ... twice ... or more.) It's part of the process!
Watch my video above for some straight-talking advice. I saved the best for last.
Nancy Nichols specializes in giving women the straight truth about men and what it really means to date with your head screwed on straight.
Be the woman that men ardently pursue in God, Please Fix Me! Trilogy: A Breakthrough in Self-Esteem, Relationship Understanding and Personal Healing for Women by Nancy Nichols
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