What was meant to harm you—makes you stronger.
When my fiancé and I broke up, I was emotionally crippled. I felt hollow, fearful and heartbroken. I experienced a roller-coaster of painful emotions. One minute I wanted to beat him in the head with my high heel for his abuse and betrayal. The next minute I was paralyzed with grief over the loss of my relationship. My abandonment issues resurfaced. I was afraid that I couldn’t take care of myself and that I would never find a man who would truly love me. I was afraid of falling through the cracks and becoming a bag lady.
Had my fiancé not dumped me for another woman, I would have never realized my full potential. I would have never written my second and third book. I would have never moved to the amazing city Nashville. I would have never had the opportunity to help women who struggle with low self-esteem issues. I would have never met my wonderful, adoring husband. I would have never purchased my first Tennessee Walker horse, learned to ground train and ride horses, and a year later purchased my second TNW. Had I not left my fiancé, I would have lived my life under the thumb of a man who was narcissistic, controlling and cuckcoo.
Your best self comes out of the emotional pain you conquer.
Being alone and heartbroken can miraculously open your eyes to YOUR dysfunctional behavior that contributed to your failed relationship. An abusive relationship can help you understand WHY you commit to men who are less than what you want or deserve—and WHY you cling to a man who has proven himself to be controlling, unfaithful, punishing and emotionally unavailable.
My girlfriend Doris‘s 3-year relationship ended unexpectedly. Her boyfriend Matt, 68, announced abruptly to Doris, 50, that he didn’t love her anymore and he wanted her to pack her things and get out of his house. (FYI: Not their real names.)
When Doris met Matt, she wasn’t interested in dating a man 18 years her senior but he pursued her and he wooed her into a relationship which offered a comfortable lifestyle and financial security. Doris lowered her man standards and she succumbed to Matt’s seduction. She sold her furniture and she moved into his 6000 square-foot house, and with his blessings, she quit her career. Matt isolated Doris from her family and friends, controlling her every thought and movement. A year later Doris discovered Matt was cheating on her and when he dumped her, she learned he had a girlfriend.
Bewildered, fearful and emotionally numb, Doris began packing her belongings to move to another state to accept a job offer. But she lacks funds and she’s afraid that her boyfriend will renege on his pledge to help her get back on her feet. She’s afraid of starting life over in Los Angeles and she's afraid she can’t afford her small apartment. She’s afraid a man won’t want to date a 52-year-old woman. She’s afraid she will never find true love.
You don’t have to be who you were yesterday.
Doris is fearful of her future. I look at my friend and this is what I see …
I see a woman who is physically attractive and has a beautiful heart. She is caring, fun-loving, dedicated, talented, intelligent and extremely hard-working. I see a woman who attracts the serious pursuit of wonderful men—but because of her self-doubt, she commits to men who control, dominate and abuse her.
I see a woman who has reclaimed her dignity and freedom from an abusive partner and she has the opportunity to start life over in a new city, to enjoy new friends, to grow from new experiences, to explore online dating and meet new men. I see a woman who can come and go as she pleases without fear of making her partner angry.
I see an opportunity for a woman to take a different life’s path, to be wiser, to make better choices and to trust her intuition when she suspects that the man she dating is oh-so wrong for her and she stops dating to fall in love, and instead she dates to find the right man to fall in love with.
I see a woman who doesn’t have to live her life in self-doubt, regret and sorrow because she has the abilities, personality and moxie to create the relationship stability, personal security and happiness she wants and so richly deserves.
Are you trying to heal from a hurtful breakup or divorce? Are you struggling to regain the self-worth you lost in a toxic relationship? Based on inspiring true events, God Please Fix Trilogy can put you on a path of recovery.
To learn more on about recovering from a hurtful relationship read I Healed From An Abusive Relationship (You Can Too!)
God, Please Fix Me! Trilogy
A Breakthrough in Self-Esteem, Relationship Understanding and Personal Healing for women
By Nancy Nichols
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