You're daydreaming about a meaningful, long-term relationship with a new man. He wants to date around, hang out with his buddies and drink beer.
Be honest, do you go out with a man a couple of times and you imagine (or hope) that he is your next boyfriend or husband?
Women, who are hard-wired to get married, look at every man they date as possibly “The One.” When they are smitten on a guy, they fantasize and romanticize of a possible relationship. They’re too nice, too accommodating and too available. They over-analyze and obsess over a man’s intentions and when a romantic connection doesn’t happen, they feel disheartened and rejected.
Men, on the other hand, take dating in stride. They assume little about a woman, the outcome of the evening or the future of a relationship. They continue to date other women and they focus on their friends, work and hobbies.
While women irrationally fixate on one man (typically the wrong man) and they get their hearts broken, men (who are dating casually) put their needs first, they think things through and they are slow to commit.
Want to date like a man and gain a man’s respect and serious pursuit? Here's how:
- Date more than one man at a time. Not only will it build your confidence and dating skills, it will take the romantic focus off of “one man.”
- Maintain a social life that doesn’t include a man. Go out with your friends and enjoy your hobbies. Concentrate on your career. A busy, independent woman is an intriguing woman.
- Enjoy your own company. Spend time alone and pamper yourself without feeling guilty—men value a woman who is a tad selfish.
- Enjoy dating for the sake of entertainment and friendship. Dating in hopes of a serious relationship is delusional and disappointing.
- Quit worrying and waiting for a man to call you. Tell yourself, “You are the prize and he will be lucky if you answer the phone.” When he does call, don’t cancel your plans to accommodate him.
- When a man doesn’t call you right away, don’t assume there is something wrong with you. He could be busy or waiting for a reason (or the right time) to call. If he doesn’t call, maybe there’s something wrong with HIM—and not you!
- Guard your emotions with a new man. Realize that everything a man says or does in the early stages of dating (his attention, etc.) . . . is nothing more than SWEET-TALK!
- Pay no attention to the tingling, throbbing, love-sick feelings that you experience about a new man. Understand that it’s a natural part of your need-a-man longings.
- Calling a man can make you to appear anxious. Anxious will make you appear needy. If you have to guess whether or not to call him . . . the answer is, “DON’T CALL!”
- Learn to turn loose of a man, mentally and physically, for a day, a week or longer. When he happily and willingly comes back to you, you will experience a surge of confidence and self-worth.
- If the man you are dating suddenly seems unavailable, take care of your mental state by making yourself slightly MORE unavailable. Better to do this, than to chase him and later wish you hadn’t.
- Tell yourself, “It’s nice to have a man. Want one. Would like to have one. But don’t NEED one if he’s a dysfunctional man.”
Now, send yourself an iNote: A man is NOT your boyfriend until he tells you: you are the woman of his dreams, he wants you to meet his momma, he is closing his online dating account and he wants you to do the same and he asks you, do you prefer yellow gold or white gold jewelry.
Do you lack confidence with men? Do men seem to be un-attracted to you?
Nancy Nichols has walked in your shoes. Her self-help TRILOGY will increase your self-esteem, relationship know-how and help you understand the modern rules of dating.
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