Are you running men off with these 3 dating deal breakers?
The mature woman needs to outshine the other women her age to attract the man who wants to date and marry a woman his own age.
Mature men and women, who have lost their mate, are often more discerning when looking for their next romantic partner.
Women look for the intimacy and financial stability they didn’t get in their previous relationship(s)—but they are not willing to be a “nurse with a purse” and they will reject men who are sexually impotent or ailing physically or financially.
Mature men often date younger women to try to recapture the excitement and passion of their youth. If they lost a chunk of their assets in a divorce, they will avoid women who are financially deficient.
Dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan wrote an interesting article: “The 3 Biggest Dating DealBreakers For Those Over 50.” She says that more than 75 percent of OurTime.com dating site membership participated in the recent survey and they considered the following “deal breakers” when considering whether or not to date someone:
1. Poor Health (78 percent)
2. Financial instability (76 percent)
3. Not physically attractive (75 percent)
It can be a challenge to find a 50 to 60-year-old partner who is in tip-top physical condition, rolling in dough and good-looking.
There are 3 additional dealbreakers as to how people judge their dates, says Ryan.
- Lack of vitality or activity
- Negative outlook
- Unrealistic expectations
Lack of vitality: Men and women over 50, who are newly single, often feel like they have been given a second chance at finding love and they want a relationship that offers romance, meaningful communication and shared activities. Don’t expect a man to beat your door down if you don’t want to dress up for a night out because you had rather sit at home drinking wine and watch TV in your slouchy pajamas.
Getting out gives you more energy and stimulates your mind; it also makes you a lot more interesting and gives you things to talk about when on a date, says Ryan.
Negative outlook: No one wants to be around someone who is self-absorbed, narrow-minded or jaded from a previous relationship. You don’t trust men. Your negative energy comes off as a chip on your shoulder. You’re guilty of gossip and disparaging conversation. Negative chatter is an acquired habit that makes you look insecure and unattractive. You’re needy and you’re looking for a man to take care of you. A man thinks he will have to work overtime to fill your void.
Says Ryan, You need to feel good about your own life before you get to share in someone else’s.
Unrealistic expectations: You have a laundry list of the traits that must characterize the man you will date or marry. You refuse to date men who don’t pass your scrutiny. You meet a great guy but you reject him because he wears the wrong shirt, or his haircut or eyeglasses are out of date, or he is bit reserved. You close your mind to the possibility that this man is an intelligent, loving, stable “diamond in the rough” eager to be polished.
The difference between settling and keeping an open mind is knowing when your high standards morph into unrealistic, unattainable expectations.
Are you doing the best with what you have?
Some things are beyond our control: our natural physical features and unfortunate medical issues.
We can't change the fact that men are innately visual and sexually motivated and they are drawn to the woman who projects confidence and allure—but we can work to be healthy and more outwardly attractive, first, to feel good about ourselves, and secondly, to attract the positive interest of the opposite sex.
Ladies, if you want a quality man to pursue you, you may need a head-to-toe makeover. Lose weight and exercise and get your body in shape. Update your hair and makeup and use anti-aging skincare products that can genuinely eliminate lines and wrinkles from your adorable face. Wear quality clothing. Don’t buy clothes because they are currently in style; choose clothes that are in your best colors, fit your body shape and match your fashion personality, e.g.: classic, romantic, expressive and relaxed.
Pampering your appearance will increase your confidence, awaken your femininity and arouse a man’s masculinity; and consequently, his interest in you.
Yes, some older men DO want to date young bimbos to bolster their sagging egos, but there are many older men who are threatened and insecure with a younger woman—or the age gap makes it difficult for them to share conversation and common interests. Consequently, these men prefer the intelligence, wisdom and sexuality of the older woman and they will choose to be with a woman close to their own age.
Learn how you can gain the sincere interest of a quality man. Read: The Do’s And Don’ts That Get You A Second Date.
Do you lack confidence with men? Do you repeatedly date and commit to men who are less than what you want and deserve? Nancy Nichols’s self-help trilogy will dramatically change the way you think about men, dating and relationships and ultimately yourself: Secrets of the Ultimate Husband Hunter, Never Date a Dead Animal and God, Please Fix Me!
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