What if there were a magical mirror in which you could see yourself as others see you? Would people see you as considerate, supportive and generous? Or do they see you as someone who is always complaining and blaming and gossiping about someone, or you’re hard to get along with and you think you’re better than others.
The woman (or man) who thinks she doesn’t need to change—probably needs to change more than she realizes.
Stinkin’ thinkin’ was once a way of life for me. I was closed-minded, hyper-critical and judgmental. I blamed my hurtful, dysfunctional childhood for my adult emotional issues. I accused and blamed my boyfriends and my husbands for the difficulties in our relationships.
I felt undesirable, unloved and unwanted as a single women.
Men seemed to be indifferent to me. The men I was attracted to never asked me for a date, and when they did, they didn’t ask me out for a second date. More than anything, I wanted a great guy to pursue me for a serious relationship, but I was attracted to the wrong man.
I finally realized to experience happiness I would have to change my lifetime of negative thought patterns.
I went to work on my negative mindset. I tried to curb my criticisms of others and repress the condescending remarks that seemed to fly out of my mouth. But discovered that my good intentions were not enough. I would make a snide remark about my ex-husband. I gossiped about a girlfriend who had offended me. I was curt with a lazy store clerk (well, she deserved it). And I talked too much about myself.
I needed a moment-to-moment reminder of the woman I wanted to be. I wrote my “Personal Ten Commandments” committing to pro-active traits that would make me a better person. I framed my commandments and sat it on my desk to remind me daily of the positive thought patterns I believed would make a more desirable and happier person.
Want to improve the quality of your life? Write your personal 10 commandments that promote a positive mindset.
My Personal 10 Commandments
Commandment No. 1: My self-worth comes from my internal self. I am fully pleasing to me and I should not look to another person for approval. I celebrate my individuality and who I am. I like myself.
Commandment No. 2: Never talk about anyone in a negative way. Idle gossip makes me look insecure, spiteful and untrustworthy.
Commandment No. 3: Be open-minded about people and situations. A positive attitude attracts opportunities, friendships and valuable business connections that will enrich my well-being. An accepting, affirming presence will inspire others to seek me out and enjoy my company.
Commandment No. 3: Be a good listener. Don’t interrupt someone who is talking. If I am doing all the talking, not only am I an irksome bore, I am not learning about the person in front of me.
Commandment No. 4: Honor and listen to my intuition. Be true to myself. If I allow my intuition to guide me, I will learn to make good decisions.
Commandment No. 5: Don’t boast; don’t brag. A pompous spirit is unattractive and it creates the disfavor of others.
Commandment No. 6: Be a Giver—Not a Taker. Promote the interests of others, especially my women friends. In turn, they will support my efforts and I will realize my dreams. Giving without an agenda contributes to my personal power.
Commandment No. 7: Drink in moderation (or better yet, stop drinking). Don’t drink and drive. Don’t drunk dial. Wine doesn’t love my figure or my face and it exacerbates my large personality.
Commandment No. 9: Live in the moment. Wherever I am and whomever I am with, appreciate and be content in the moment. Quit trying so hard—about everything. If I have done my absolute best, then my best should be good enough.
Commandment No. 10: Don’t neglect family and friends. Take time to connect with my loved ones and friends frequently. Schedule coffee or lunch, make a phone call, send an email, or better yet, snail-mail a real greeting card. If I don’t, there may come a time when I will be alone and forgotten.
Read the true story of how Nancy Nichols triumphed over a lifetime of self-doubt, fear and shame and silenced her self-deprecating inner voice—forever.
God, Please Fix Me!
A Breakthrough in Self-Esteem, Relationship Understanding and Personal Healing for Women
by Nancy Nichols
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