You're with someone who causes you nothing but pain, so why stay? Get over him for good!
You broke up with your boyfriend or husband because he was withdrawn, neglectful and uncommunicative, or he cheated on you, or was verbally or physically abusive. You're trying to get on with your life without him in it, and then suddenly, he calls you.
At first it's small talk—he'll ask in his buttered-up voice, "How are you?" or "How’s work?" You agree to have coffee with him, you know, just to "talk." He knows if he can get you to talk to him, he can soften your heart and get you have dinner and drinks with him. You tell yourself you can handle it and before you know it, you sleep with him and you're back in the worst relationship of your life.
Or maybe you’re out drinking with your girlfriends. Wine clouds your ability to reason, you miss him and on your way home you text or call him to soothe your bleeding heart.
Where is your sense of survival and good judgment? You struggled for months, maybe a year, to get this self-serving, immoral sleazebucket out of your head and out of your life. You know in your core he's bad for you, that he erodes your confidence, shreds your self-esteem, nukes your energy and throws you into dark depression. Regardless of what he promises, you know he will betray you again with his neglect and rejection, lying words and abusive behavior.
Wouldn't it be less painful to crush your breast in a mammogram machine?
To quote Dr. Phil: "If you choose the behavior of staying with a sick and destructive partner, then you choose the consequences of pain and suffering in your emotional life."
If you truly want him out of your life him, block all communication.
Ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands and ex-lovers know exactly what to say and do to woo you back into a relationship. They know your weak spots and they will play you like a fiddle. If you truly want to get on with your life without him in it, don't answer his phone calls, don't return his text messages or emails, and don't open your door to his surprise visits to give him the opportunity to slither back into your life.
Otherwise, you will indefinitely prolong your heartbreak.
Before you re-enter the dating world learn the red flags of emotionally unavailable, conniving, controlling, potentially abusive men at http://knowitallnancy.com/books-products/never-date-dead-animal.
Never Date a Dead Animal:
The Red Flags of Losers, Abusers, Cheaters and Con-Artists
by Nancy Nichols
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