Don't give too much, too soon.
Here's the conundrum: You just started dating a great guy and you don't want to appear anxious or presumptuous about your immature relationship by giving him a Christmas gift that's too sentimental, too soon. But you don't want to show up empty-handed on your upcoming date should he present you with a gift.
Oh, the dilemma! What should you do?
Keep in mind that a man is probably wondering the same thing: should he give you a gift?
He doesn’t want to appear too eager. He doesn’t want to buy anything expensive because he doesn’t want you to read too much into the new relationship, but he worries if he gives you something smal, you'll think he’s cheap. He may also be afraid to show up empty-handed should you give him a gift.
First, give from the heart. Don't have expectations of whether or not he will give you a gift.
Second, give a modest gift that says, “I-like-you-and-I-look-forward-to-getting-to-know-you-better."
Here are 7 simple and appropriate, yet thoughtful gifts:
- Give a gift that’s an inside joke. I dated a guy who said he hated Christmas. A coffee cup is horrible gift but I found one at Starbucks that said BAH HUMBUG on it. He got a kick out of it.
- Feed his caffeine addiction with a Starbucks gift certificate.
- Give him a DVD of a TV show or a movie that he mentioned he wants to watch.
- Buy him tickets to a movie or a play, but only if the event is a week or two away. Otherwise he’ll think you’re trying to hog-tie him into a relationship.
- He'll love a batch of homemade cookies, just don't complain when he puts on a couple of pounds.
- Does he like to cook? Get him a cool cooking gadget or give him a live-potted Rosemary plant decorated with red ribbons. When he pinches Rosemary he’ll think of you.
- Give him a fun CD mix of Christmas music. Hopefully your music will become a holiday tradition. Otherwise, after you guys split — and he’s sitting on his sofa with his arm wrapped around his new honeybun and he pops your CD into his stereo to set the mood — he’ll think of you.
Now, what's on the "it's too soon to give" list when you have a new boyfriend? Here are 7 gifts you should definitely avoid:
- Don't give him a shirt. The same goes for a tie or socks: It's personal and BORING!
- Don’t give him jewelry. Cha-ching! Jewelry screams I'm desperate. I’m needy!
- Don’t give him tickets to a romantic get-away weekend. It's too soon.
- Don’t give him a scrapbook of your time spent together.
- Don’t knit him a scarf or hat. You’re a modern gal—not his grandma.
- Don’t give him your ring size!
- And for goodness sake, DO NOT give a brand-new boyfriend a framed photo of yourself. It howls that you want to be his “one and only.”
Do you wonder and worry when you're dating a new man? I know what it feels like to be single and lack confidence with men. Based on inspiring true events, my God, Please Fix Me! trilogy will teach you how to be the woman that men pursue for a serious relationship.
God, Please Fix Me! Trilogy A Breakthrough in Self-Esteem, Relationship Understanding and Personal Healing for Women by Nancy Nichols
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