Don't go out of town with him, if you're not ready.
You really, really like your new guy, but you haven’t slept with him yet because:
- You don’t want him to think you sleep around.
- You want to know that he’s “clean.”
- You’re not sure that he’s the “one.”
- You want to know that he is genuinely committed to you.
Your new guy seems to be “into” you. He wine and dines you and he calls you regularly. You promised yourself that you wouldn’t sleep with him until you were fairly certain he was the right man for you. And then he pops the question, “Would you like to go away for the weekend?”
You take this as a sign that he really likes you. And you're tempted to accompany him on an all-expenses-paid vaccation—but you wonder, is he falling in love with you, or are you a friday-night flavor?
As a single woman, you try to keep you emotions in check when dating man who ignites your sexuality and passion. You want the relationship to move forward, but you’re afraid if you go away for the weekend and you sleep with him prematurely, you’ll forfeit his respect and enthusiasm for you. You’re afraid to say “no” to his invitation because you don’t want to push him away.
Most men won’t admit it, but when they ask a woman (whom they have yet to slip between the sheets with) to go out of town with them, they are thinking, hoping (and even secretly planning) their WorldPerks will take on new meaning.
While the woman tells herself, she can share a faraway hotel room with her new super-hot boyfriend and NOT have sex with him, the man is envisioning wine, Jacuzzi, a luxury hotel room hundreds of miles from home, and he thinks, "I’m sure to get lucky.”
Charlotte dated Barry for only three weeks when he proposed the out-of-town question. “I’m thinking about going to Aruba in a couple of weeks and I would love for you to go with me. I’ll take care of everything; all you have to do is bring your toothbrush and swimsuit and have a good time.”
Charlottee was surprised at Barry's offer because they had not yet had sex, and although she was crazy about him, she wasn’t sure (1) how much he liked her, and (2) if he was looking for a long-term relationship. More importantly, she wondered what Barry was thinking in terms of sleeping arrangements.
Barry told Charlotte they would share the same room and sleep in the same king bed, but he assured Charlotte he expected nothing sexually from her.
Charlotte went to Aruba with Barry, promising herself she would refrain from having sex, but after a night of chugalugging Orange Dream slammers, Charlotte got tipsy and horny and she succumbed to a night of unprotected sex with Barry.
I don't blame Barry. He did what a man does best with a drunk woman in a Caribbean hotel room—he took advantage of the situation.
Charlotte and Barry returned home. Barry drifted away. Charlotte regretted taking the trip and she worried that she might have contracted STDs.
I suggest thinking twice about sharing a hotel room with a would-be boyfriend if you’re not ready to seal the deal. Otherwise, call us when you get home to tell us how you held out!
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by Nancy Nichols
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