Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness, never shopped at Barneys.
It is your right to expect a man to pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or anything he has to pay for in exchange for your time. —Steve Harvey
Dating and relationships are comprised of a balance of power. Men use money to get the woman they want. While women, subtly and skillfully, use their femininity to reel in the man of their dreams.
Women pine for a man’s affection, adoration and commitment. Men yearn for sex.
In years past, women were brought up to be wives, mothers and homemakers. Men were instructed to make a decent living to support their wife and children.
I am totally against women being domesticated or subservient to a man, but historically some things don’t change.
Women long for a meaningful relationship. They want to feel safe, loved, heard, sexually desired and appreciated. Even today’s successful, independent women innately want a man who will contribute to her emotional, physical and financial well-being.
Men know their job is to win a woman’s affection, love and commitment and they will court you with their compliments and gentlemanly manners—and whether they will admit it or not, they are fully aware that gifts are part of a woman’s love language. Depending on a man’s level of interest in you, his finances and generosity, he will spend money to get you to go on a date with him and he will surprise you with trinkets and sparkle to woo and wow you. He will send you flowers, wine and dine you, take you shopping for clothes and treat you to all-expense-paid trips, because in his mind, he is investing in you and his future.
If you think you’re worth it and you expect it, a man will rise to your expectations.
Men have a way of picking up on a woman’s self-worth. They know which women are confident, independent and self-reliant and which women are needy and desperate for a husband. Men will work hard to impress a woman who is self-assured and self-sufficient, but they will put minimum effort into scoring sexually with the woman who is desperate for a man in her life.
I grew with low self-esteem issues. As an adult, I didn’t love myself and I didn’t feel worthy of a man spending money on me. I was afraid to accept a man’s generosity because:
- I felt obligated to go out with him again.
- He might expect me to sleep with him.
- I felt like a gold-digger.
My lack of self-worth caused me to settle for a husband who shirked his head-of-the-household responsibilities. He was always months behind on paying our bills and house note and he squandered his money at the local beer joint.
It was a freezing, icy Christmas morning, I discovered our electricity had been turned off because he failed to pay the utility bill. I wrapped our two small children in heavy clothing, wool coats and toboggans and I watched them rip open their presents with white vapor floating from their little mouths.
That was a turning point for me; I decided I would never again marry a man who was irresponsible, miserly and poor because it is just as easy to love a man who has a personal relationship with Neiman Marcus and he pays his house note on time.
Here are 7 gold-digging techniques that inspire a man to treat you like a queen.
- Be the total package. Men spend money on women who are classy and confident. They’re attracted to a woman’s warm smile, stylish hair-do and makeup, designer clothing, legs and cleavage (without looking slutty). Your groomed appearance plus your intriguing, mysterious demeanor tells him you are a quality woman who is worth pursuing.
- Let him be a gentleman. Don’t be quick to pull out your wallet. If you always treat a man like your equal (you pay your way on a date or a trip) you will squelch his desire to impress you, please you and pursue you.
- Be generous. Occasionally pay for his cocktails, invite him to lunch or pick up event tickets. After several dates, invite him to your home for a movie or dinner date. It’s not the amount that counts; it’s the thought that affects a man.
- Be independent. Show a man that you are self-sufficient. Don’t marvel at his expensive car, his jewelry, his house or stuff. Your attitude and actions tell him you have a great life, you're financial stable and you’re not impressed with his money.
- Drop him a hint. Let him know you like something when shopping together. When he says, “Let me get these shoes for you,” express in one elongated sentence: “Oh, you don’t have to do that you’re so sweet thank you,” and then tell the clerk your shoe size.
- Be appreciative. Men crave respect and recognition. Let a guy do something nice for you and then express your delight. A man who feels valued, appreciated and needed will want to give you the world.
- Ask for his help. Pretend like your hands are full while shopping together. Ask him to hold the items you intend to purchase; don’t offer to take them back, walk confidently to the checkout counter and wait to see if he offers to pay. (Okay, this one is naughty!)
Gifts are wonderful, but dating a man strictly for his money gives you and gold-digging a bad name.
Related read: The Underlying Reason Women Need A Man To Give Her Gifts
*Steve Harvey's comment was paraphrased for clarity.
Want men to pursue you for a serious relationship? God, Please Fix Me! trilogy by Nancy Nichols will teach you the attitudes and behavior that gain the genuine interest and pursuit of quality men.
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